Apparently I am not alone as I found today a blog dedicated to the subject: Challenging Boys.

Logan is a lot like me in some ways.  His face is the very picture of an Ostroth. As such, I have a pretty good sense of what he will look like when he’s grown.  Probably a lot like this:

All of the Ostroth boys look a lot like that.

But his personality is a lot like Eric’s. And that is not a bad thing.  Eric is strong-willed, has a wicked strong sense of fair-play, is stubborn, and is inclined toward leadership, even though he says he doesn’t like it or want it. When he is happy, Eric is a joy to be around—funny, intelligent, and entertaining. Logan is all of those things as well.

The difference between them, I hope, is that Logan has better parents (and a better family, generally) than Eric did. And I believe Eric is part of that equation, because although it is too soon to be absolutely certain, I believe that Eric is a better parent to Logan than his parents were to him.

My fondest wish and greatest hope is that I will be the kind of mother that Eric should have had, but didn’t; that I can take those things that are the most challenging (and frustrating!) about Logan and teach him to use them rightly.  Being a leader who is stubborn with a strong sense of fair play is a wonderful thing when you are advocating for those who are less fortunate than yourself.  Being witty and entertaining is also a wonderful thing when it is used at the appropriate time and in the appropriate place.

What Eric didn’t have is parents to teach him how to use his strengths correctly, how to be disciplined and a hard worker. His parents didn’t teach him that there are consequences and that your strengths can also be weaknesses when they are taken to the extreme.

Logan will have something else that Eric didn’t have: a sense of security and unconditional love.

If I were the praying sort, I would be praying that those differences will make all of the difference in the world for my challenging son.